Dec 18 – One audition. One part.

It’s been a while since the last post.  There hasn’t been too much to report…until now.  A month and a half ago I did an audition for an independent short.  It was down in Olympia, which is an hour and a half away, but I figured beggars can’t be choosers, and I’ll take whatever part I can get.  And if nothing else it will be audition practice.

So I drive down to Olympia, show up at the Evergreen College campus, where the director, and fresh-faced intrepid young man, is a student.  My girlfriend used to go there, so I’m not totally unfamiliar with the campus.  I find the audition room easily.  I enter, and no one is there.  There is a bottle of water and some printed sides on the floor next to a chair.  That’s all that is in the room.  I head back out into the hall and look around.  No one is around.

I was surprised that no one else was there. I sort of expected a cattle call audition with people out in the hall waiting for their few moments to shine.  He gave me a time range of 2 – 4 o’clock, so I assumed there were other people scheduled as well, but if they were they weren’t there, and either was he.  A few minutes later though, he came down the hall.  Potty break.

We chatted a bit.  He asked my experience, and I said not much, just got done with acting school, and I’m looking to work, etc, etc.  This is his first film.  He seems with it, and somewhat conservatively dressed for Evergreen, which is known for its hordes of, um, free thinking, tree-hugger types, who sort of float around campus doing whatever it is they do.

He did indicate that he had gotten a lot of responses from TPS, which is where I saw the audition notice.  We chatted a bit about Aikido, since he saw that on my resume.  Then we chatted a bit about the movie.  A mockumentary short on the subject of religious cults and how people are easily enticed to believe some things that others find ridiculous, and how this sort of thing can spread like wildfire under the right conditions.

My role was to be the Woman, a believer in the cult, and enthusiastic supporter.  It’s pretty simple scene.  I’m being interviewed by the documentary film maker and narrator.  All in one room, all in one take sort of thing.

He explains what he is looking for, and then I read it through cold.  I give it my best shot.  I try to keep as much eye contact as I can with him while I’m reading, but of course you have to look at the paper when you read.  I run through, he gives me a few notes, I do it again.  I feel weird, since I am in this huge room, with just him and me.  Luckily I’ve had plenty of practice feeling weird, uncomfortable, and winging it in acting class, so I just ride the wave.

He likes what I’m doing, gives me a few more notes, and then video tapes me.  After that he offers me the part.  I’m excited of course, but part of me is like, did anyone else show up?  Is it just me?  Still, he was laughing when I rad a few lines, so I must have been doing something right.  I leave happy, and excited to do my first film role.

I went down about a week and half later for a read through with a few other cast members.  Another rehearsal was to be scheduled, but I heard nothing for two weeks, then an email from the director saying he is still trying to get things together, apparently the camera he was planning on using fell through, and of course he is a student, poor, and also has a day job, so I get it.  I write back, just let me know when you are ready, and I’ll be there.  I’m not holding my breath.

This is the second role in an independent, mockumentary style short that I have been cast in that hasn’t gone anywhere.  The other film was written by a guy I went to acting school with.  He was having trouble working with his D.P., so it got put on hold, while he finds someone else.  Again, I’m not holding my breath.  Call me when you are ready for my close-up. Until then, I fish the audition waters.

So on the good news, I submitted my headshot to be a featured extra in a real film.  One where they like pay you, and has famous people in it.  Well, at least they are famous in Asia.  I don’t know the details yet, but I’m going to be a woman in prison.  How cool is that?  And we actually get to go to a real prison and film.  Sounds fun.  It will be sometime in February, and they will actually pay me.  Not hardly anything, but I’ll take it.  And since it is a film with a budget, I think it will actually get made.  This time I am holding my breath.

Sep 18 – Just Shoot Me.

So I had my first casting call today.  Not for a film, not for a play, but for a photo shoot for print and web media for an unnamed pharmaceutical company.

I saw the audition notice and saw that I fit one of the categories of people they were looking for.  Now that I actually have my headshots, I could easily email the JPGs over, which is what I did.  They were looking for the following types:

People with physical disabilities, Native Americans, and LBGT youth and middle aged couples.    They were looking for people to be doctors, nurses, etc, of any race and gender.

So I thought I had two chances.  I could be a doctor.  I mean I work in a hospital, even if my job consists entirely of putting numbers into spreadsheets.  And I also qualified under the LBGT, and since they were looking for couples, I noted in my email, that I have a girlfriend and I’d be happy to bring her along.

I was happy when the next day I got an email, saying come on down to the casting, and bring your squeeze.  How exciting.  I didn’t know what to expect, but I figured I’d at least had one photoshoot experience, my headshots, and how different could it be.

The day of, I picked out what I thought were hip middle-aged lesbian clothes to wear.  And told my girlie to attire herself similarly.  Now I should mention neither of us are fashion mavens, in fact the opposite, but I think we did OK.  I was a little worried, because my girlfriend looked cuter than me.  What if they want her to be the doctor?

Anyway we get there, feeling a little unsure what to do, but the company doing the photography runs like a well-oiled machine.  We are waved in and told to sit down in some rows of chairs they have set up on one side of the room.  The other side of the room is blocked by dividers, but the flashing lights coming through the cracks indicate where the photographs are being snapped.

I scope the competition.  So far no other obvious lesbian couples.  That’s good, maybe there won’t be to many to compete against.  We get waved up to the table to check in.

It turns out to be the guy who I emailed in the first place, and who said to come on down.  He was gay.  In fact it seemed like almost everyone working there was gay.  I try to be friendly and charming to cover up my nervousness. We give our names, addresses, and the like, and then sit back down.

A fashionable young man with cool glasses waves me up.  He has a white board and has me write my name on it. We wait a bit until the previous person is done with the photographer.  Then he escorts me and my girlfriend into the back to meet the photographer.

The photographer is also a fashionably dressed man, who warmly introduces himself to me, and shakes my hand.  He then asks me to stand back.  I look down and see an “x” taped on the floor.  I say, do you want me on the x? and he says, oh you can see that? It was small and put on with clear tape.

The white board is put into my hands and a picture is snapped.  Then he takes a closeup of my face, then he has me turn to the side. Glasses on. Click. Glasses off.  Click.  Then he says 3/4 turn. Click.

Then he asks me to move my head back.  I move it what I think is back, but that’s apparently not the right way, so I try another way.  What he meant was to rotate my head towards him, but his description, and my comprehension of that movement weren’t synching up.  I felt like a little bit of a dork, when I figured it out, but oh well.  Click. Body shot. Click.

Then it was my girlfriends turn.  Same routine, but they had her put her hand on her hip in a few shots.  I thought, hey, I didn’t have to put my hand on my hip, what does that mean? Do they like her better?

Then we got to do a few shots together. That was fun.  i would like to have seen them, but the monitor was facing away from us.  Click, click, click.  It was over.

I made sure to thank everyone, the photographer, and the person who checked us in.   And out the door we headed.

If we are going to hear anything it should be by the end of next week.  I think we have an OK chance.  I’ll think it is funny, if my girlfriend got a spot and I didn’t.  Ha ha. Sigh.

Did I mention that this pays really well? I guess that’s because they are paying us not just for the actual shoot, but for the right to use our images on the company pamphlets, website and advertisements.

Anyway, I guess we just have to wait and see now.

Sep 7 – Heads up.

So things are warming up a little in the acting world.  Revving back up after taking some downtime after the Meisner class at Freehold.  I’ve gotten my headshots, I’ve gotten a part in a short film that a fellow Meisnerite is doing, and I’m working on a project with another fellow Meisner classmate.  So there are irons in the fire.

The big thing I wanted to do was get my headshots. I felt like I was off the hook until then.  I didn’t have to go out into the big scary world and audition, and get rejected, since you need headshots (or should have them so you don’t look unprofessional) to audition.

I had been searching the web looking for people, and I ended up picking Mark Brennan.  He is up in Vancouver, BC, and I was willing to drive up, but then I found out that he comes down to Seattle once a month to take people’s pictures, so that made it even easier.  Although I was a little disappointed that I didn’t have a reason to visit Vancouver.

Why Mark Brennan, and not someone local?  I don’t know.  I just like the way his photos captured people, especially the eyes.  Check out his website and see what you think.

To get ready for the photos, I had to get some new clothes.  I’m am a, um, how shall we say, fashion failure, and I’m a butch dyke at heart.  But I figured that I needed some girly clothes, since there are more regular girl parts out there than butch lesbian trucker parts.  I took one of my friends who actually has a sense of fashion and taste, and she helped me pick out clothes, most of which didn’t make it in the photo shoot, but I have them for auditions now.

I kept saying to myself as she would hand me something, I wouldn’t wear that.  But then I thought that is like an actor saying, but my character wouldn’t do that.   If the part (and the director) calls for it, you have to make it work. So I tried them on and apparently I looked good even though I felt uncomfortable and dorky.  Fish out of water.

The shoot day arrived.  Mark Brennan and his make-up person, whose name I have sadly forgotten, were really great.  I was tired that day because I had just finished the Danskin triathlon about two hours before.  He would have me stand different ways, and then give me cues, such as, I’ve just walked in the room, and you are really happy to see me, or, you are a bitch, and you don’t care if firing me ruins my life, in fact you enjoy it.

There was the technical part of being in the right position.  He would have me lean forward or tilt my head a certain way, and then add in the emotions as he cued me.  He also just talked to me, trying to get me relaxed.  I was actually feeling pretty relaxed at the beginning since I was still zoned out from the triathlon.  After awhile of standing there my shoulders and neck tightened up (from the swim I think), and he’d be like ok, relax your shoulders.  And I’m thinking, I can’t, they won’t go down.

We finished up the shoot, and I waited for him to send me the photos, so I could pick which ones I wanted to use.   He took about 100 photos, picked out his favorites, his seconds favorites, and then sent the rest.  Now my job was to pick the two I liked and he would color correct and touch them up for me.

I have to say, I was hoping for miracles.  I’m not bad looking, I think I’m nicely average, but I was hoping to look like a movie star, but instead I just looked like myself, with makeup and some fancier clothes on than I normally wear.  They always say your headshot should look like you, and not someone else, so in that respect they succeed rather well.  I was just hoping for more, but I guess that’s my baggage.

I narrowed down the choices to about eight, which was hard.  Then I posted those up on my facebook page and let people vote.  I’ve posted the results below.

I must say that putting my pictures up on my blog makes me feel a little exposed, since it is nice to hang out and write anonymously to the three or four people who actually stumble across this blog and read it.  But I figured I have to get used to putting myself out there.  I’m an actor after all.  People are supposed to see me.

July 31 – Where it’s at.

Been on a bit of a hiatus.  Finished the Meisner program at Freehold Theatre, and boy did I need a break.  That was a tough run, but good.  That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger sort of thing.

This will be a short post since there isn’t much going on at the moment.  I have an appointment to get my headshots in a couple a weeks, from a guy whose work I really like.  Mark Brennan.  Check out his website.

After that I’ll be ready to audition.  That’s frightening.  I’m nervous about that, but what actor isn’t I suppose.  I’m looking to do maybe some short film type work for now, get some stuff together for a reel.

There is also a class at Freehold this fall that looks promising.  Advanced Rehearsal and Performance.  It’s being taught by Annette Toutonghi, who is a great teacher.  I’ve taken Rehearsal and Performance before (twice), but this is Advanced, you have to have completed Meisner or equivalent to be in the class.

Part of me is like, do I want to take this class because it will be a good learning experience, and I’ll get more performance practice under my belt, or is it just an excuse for me to keep taking classes, and not get out into the real world.

I like to procrastinate, and this would be a way to procrastinate while seemingly not procrastinating.  I keep going back and forth with it.  I think I will end up taking the class though.  It seems to good of an opportunity to waste.

And finally, I’m working on a script with my friend Bill.  Our goal is to do a web series, get a following, and somehow make money.  It’s a great concept (Bill’s idea), and I think we can work it into something.

Of course I can’t talk about it now, not because we are being all secretive, but because we haven’t worked out the details of the story line yet.  Of course when we do, then we won’t be able to talk about it, because we don’t want anyone stealing our cool idea.

April 10 – A little imagination

Hmmm…sorry?  What was that?  Oh.  I’m sorry, I was daydreaming, and I didn’t hear a word of that.

So day dreaming, you say, Why?  Basically it’s like running.  It’s exercise, but instead of building up your body, it builds up your creative faculties.  Like any sort of exercise, unless you are magically gifted, it’s hard at first and gets easier as you go along.

We had to do some more exercises where we set up a space to be a room in our house.  We brought meaningful props in and used some Freehold furniture to make a representation of our room.  Then we again sat in there daydreaming, people watched us.

The next round we had to bring an activity and a circumstance, similar to what we had done in our repetition exercises in the previous quarter, and then we had to sit in our space and daydream.

My activity was to learn Amazing Grace on the banjo, and my circumstance was that my mom had died, and was to learn to play this for her funeral service. This is the song she wants played.

At first nothing was happening; I was too busy trying to play the song, which I didn’t know how to play. So I decided to stop and just sit there, and in that quiet spot not doing anything,  I managed to imagine what playing Amazing Grace at my mom’s funeral really meant, and I started crying.  Oh, a good amount too, more than the last time I cried.

It was interesting that I had to do nothing to get in touch with the emotions.  At other times I’ve relied on physical activity to get me into a scene.  I guess the lesson there is what you need depends on the situation.  This time it was daydreaming.

Apr 9 – Imagine that.

Boy it’s been a long time since I’ve posted.  In fact a whole quarter of Meisner went by.  So now I feel forced to sum it up, so we can move on to the third quarter, and I can start talking about that. It might take a few posts, but I’ll get there.

The focus of the second quarter of the Meisner track at Freehold is developing the “instrument.”  That’s the actor’s body and mind to put it into layman’s terms. The point (as I see it anyway) is to disassemble our cultural programming enough to act/react spontaneously to the imaginary circumstances in which we find ourselves during a play or film.

Sounds kind of high-falutin, but really it’s about teaching adults to play make believe after such frivolous time-wasting abilites were crushed out of us by the monolithic weight of our western European, Protestant, technology riddled 21st century adult responsibilities.

Things that came naturally to us as children do not come naturally as an adult.  We may be able to drive and shop online, but kids have us beat in the imagination department.

I can remember spending hours playing on the jungle gym, that was really a rocket ship, trying not to touch the hot lava playground sand.  Or running through our neighborhood playing Charlie’s Angles (the original 70’s show – I’m old), fighting over who got to play which Angel.  For the record I didn’t fight; I was always Sabrina; she was the smart one, but my friends fought like cats and dogs over who got to be Jill (Farah). The loser had to be Kelly.

So what did we do in the first part of the second quarter of Meisner?  We imagined things. We daydreamed.  Sounds easy?  It’s not.  It’s easy to daydream when you are just drifting through your day, trying to escape from your tedious job by having some fun in your head.

Maybe you are rescuing kittens from a burning building and become the town hero, or maybe it’s imagining what you are going to say to someone in some confrontational conversation you are planning having.  We slip in and out all day, but suddenly someone says, you need to imagine and you need to do it now.  Then the clamps clamp down and the gears screech to a halt.

Daydreaming is controlled by our subconscious, and because of that we don’t tend to have much control over it, which is actually what makes daydreaming useful.  Our subconscious minds, if given free reign, will take us to interesting places, that our conscious mind, so worried about trying to not make a fool out of itself, won’t. Perhaps because it is afraid, or mostly because it doesn’t even occur to it to go there in the first place.

So one of the first exercises that we did in class was to daydream.  You had to get up in front of the class, lie on one of the questionable Freehold mattresses, and daydream, while the rest of the class watched.  Yes, that’s what we did.  Imagine a room of adults sitting in rows of folding metal chairs, watching someone lying on mattress with their eyes closed daydreaming.

The funny thing was it was interesting.  In my experience, I was too aware in the beginning to really day dream, but as I laid there long enough, things started percolating.  When you’d watch other people you could see emotions flit across their faces.  That was interesting.  They probably didn’t even know it was happening, but it was happening, and it was interesting.

So the first step was taken, lying down.

Nov 19 – Consciously Incompetent

I was talking to one of my classmates last night.  I mentioned that I had a blog about my acting school experience, but that I hadn’t been blogging much of late.  I explained that felt like I should blog, but my brain just felt like mush when it came to trying to process the information and experiences of class.

He told me about something he had read that Spalding Gray had said or written.  I’m paraphrasing his paraphrase, but I think you will get the idea.  He said the Spalding Gray was walking through the forest on a beautiful day, and the trees and sky were so exquisite and moving that he felt he should write about it, but didn’t want to, or couldn’t, or something like that, I’m not sure now. Did I mention my brain was mushy?

It’s like it is to hard to explain what’s happening, because I’m not really sure what’s going on myself. My paltry attempts at splicing words into a narrative are likely to fall short of what’s really going on.

Last night at the end of class, Robin asked us if we had noticed anything particular about that night’s performance bits.  People responded with various things such as the activities seemed more meaningful, the background stories richer, the interactions more complex, the connection deeper, the framework of the repetition exercise was looser, and on and on.

Basically what she was trying to point out was that we are improving. That by jumping through the Meisner-shaped hoops we are becoming better at our acting just by the act of doing.  It seems Zen.  Become what you are, become what you do, a no-matter-where-you-go-there-you-are sort of thing.

Robin made us all read Zen and the Art of Archery by Eugen Herrigel at the beginning of the quarter.  Basically it describes the process of repeatedly trying to master something and even though you keep doing it badly, the process of doing it despite all ones errors and misdirections, will lead to improvement and eventually mastery if you stick with it long enough.

The idea is to get to the point of Unconscious Competence, the fourth stage of competency.  The four stages of competency being:

1. Unconscious Incompetency, you don’t know what you don’t know how to do.
2. Conscious Incompetency, you know what you don’t know how to do.
3. Conscious Competency, you know how to do what you do, but you have to concentrate on it.  And lastly,
4. Unconscious Competence, you don’t have to think about what you are doing.  This is the realm of mastery.

Right now I’m in the land of Conscious Incompetence.  I know that I don’t know a whole lot.

June 26 – It’s over, the fat lady needs a nap.

I’ve been on vacation. Not the traveling kind, but the kind where you decide to do the day to day as usual, but with as little expenditure of energy as possible, to power down the brain, sit out in the sun as if I had solar panels attached to the top of my head, waiting for the batteries to recharge. Brain on hold, blog on hold.

The batteries aren’t totally recharged, but there is enough power now for the brain to make some fluttering attempts at joining thoughts together.

I finished acting school for the quarter and I have five weeks of my six week break left. Sword class is done. I passed my test, barely, but passed nonetheless. You might be thinking to yourself, oh, she is being hard on herself, I am sure she did quite well. And even I thought that myself, but when the test examiner says to you concisely, I am passing you, but it is a low pass, you just squeaked by, it’s hard to take it any other way.

The test was soooooooo loooooooong. I thought that because the three fights we did were about 2- 5 minutes a piece we should be done in about 10 minutes, and of course we had the time to watch everyone else test. And the first part of the test did indeed go by quickly. The second part of the test was a different story.

The visiting instructor/examiner (a fight teacher can’t test his own students, so they shipped one in from the East Coast) gave us some new choreography on the spot, ran us through it, corrected us, let us work on it for a bit, and then we did it in front of the class. Basically we were being tested on how well we picked up the choreography and followed instructions and took correction.

This is why I passed the test. I managed to pick up the broadsword choreography pretty quickly and take the corrections well. The Rapier and Dagger choreography was a different story entirely. Both my partner and I had trouble with it. We had to keep calling him over for help. It was very footwork specific, and I wasn’t getting it. When we performed it in front of the class we had to do it molasses in January slow, while everyone else went fast.

We passed the R&D because we took time to go slow and took all of his notes into account, so even though it wasn’t fighting speed he appreciated our effort.

I was so drained by the end of class. I had gotten there early at 10:30 to practice with my partner, since he had to be out of town the last few days before the test and we couldn’t practice. Then we had the performance part of the test, then the second part of the test. We didn’t finish until about 4:30. I hadn’t brought enough food. I had a pounding headache. My body hurt from using it to much. Oy! Sword fighting is hard work! Don’t let anyone tell you different.

On an up note, I did meet someone who actually reads my blog. Who knew people read this? Aside from my family that is. Anyway, this person is a Freehold student who is going through the first progression of classes, and so was interested in reading my blog. She came up to me at the end of the performance and asked if I knew who Smarly (that’s my clown name) was. And I of course did, and then we chatted a bit before i was whisked off to the second part of the test. She also came to the after class farewell gathering because she knows Heidi, who helps with the testing and also taught our class when Geoff was out.

So another quarter down. I am going to go and see the Meisner final performances tonight. Some of the people I started with are finishing the series tonight, so I am going to see them. It will be interesting to see how they have improved, and maybe give me a glimpse of what’s in store for me, assuming of course I get in.

June 5 – Sounds like money.

I’ve been rather overwhelmed with school lately.  The Stage Combat test is only ten days away.  I am nervous.  We haven’t gotten all our scenes and choreography down.  Or I should say that we have the fight choreography down, we just haven’t gotten the talking part down.

At least we finally have scenes now.  That was the hard part. Then we had to edit them down to fit the fight.  I did a version, which was WAY to long.  Luckily my partner took on the task of integrating the talking an fighting bits, and worked it down to something sizable and doable.

Even so, we had to cut more out last night, and rearrange things. We had a practice session, the first where we really got to try out the talking and swashbuckling together.  We only got through the broadsword fight, but at least now I feel like there is some hope.  This Saturday we will work out the unarmed fight and the rapier and dagger fight.  We are running those together into one scene, so that adds another layer of complication in trying to work out the transition from one to the other.  I’ll see if I have to start panicking again after this next class.

On the Voiceover class front, I have a big homework assignment.  I have to come up with six to eight clips to use in voiceover demo reel.  Basically recorded audition pieces. I have to look for things that will highlight my type of voice, and the kind of work that I would like to do.

I think I would really like to do audiobooks.  It seems like it would be fun.  I’m sure it isn’t really, but neither is filing and photocopying and sitting at a desk all day.  I am sure it is hard work, but at least you get to be a bit creative, and I hear the pay is pretty good.  Plus I think it is something my voice might be suited to.  If you’ve read my earlier post, you will hear that I have a good narrative voice that sounds really, really “normal”.

I will find one audiobook piece, and then I will need to come up with some commercial bits.  The nice thing about demo reels is that you can totally rip off actual commercials.  You can do a McDonald’s commercial, or Ford truckcommercials.  The fact that the words are someone else’s doesn’t matter, you just want someone to hear your voice, and if you have a voice that sounds like it can sell Ford trucks, than it’s good to have Ford trucks on your reel.

My problem is figuring what sort of products I would be good at selling, then finding the corresponding commercial, writing down the text and practicing it.  Next class, this coming Monday, we are going to Jack Straw studios, where we are going to record the vocal track of our demo reel.  Later on, if we are so inclined, we can edit the bits of commercial text together, add the background music and sound effects that you hear on real commercials to snazz it up, and presto , professional demo reel, ready to send off to prospective agents and clients.

So I am going to go home tonight and watch TV, for the commercials.

May 20 – New new works.

Last Friday I met my theater-attendance partner up on Capitol Hill, for a lovely dinner at Boom Noodle (I love their beef yakisoba!), and then for a evening of new works at the Broadway Performance Hall. This time the new works were focused on emerging African-American artists. The show, the Creation Project 2008, was put on by the Central District Forum for Arts and Ideas.

I went specifically to see my one teacher Gin Hammond, perform the first act of her new play, Returning the Bones, which is the story of Gin’s aunt. A description from the program:

In 1946 a young black medical student from rural Texas wakes up to find she has been chosen to represent Howard University in a war-ravaged Europe, for the Students’ International Clinical Congress. Returning the Bones is the true story of Dr. Caroline Montier, and how her life is altered upon visiting Auschwitz, and oh that trip taken in 1946 will be finally completed at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC, 61 years later.

The staging was simple, just a few platforms stacked center stage. Behind was a screen which had photographs that related to the story, most seemed to be family photos and clippings from newspapers. Gin played everyone in the play, doing different voices, accents, and body-language as needed.

It was quite a feat to watch. The amount of material to learn, the lines to memorize, and the characters to differentiate must have been a huge task. I think it would be extremely difficult to play both sides of a conversation, trying to keep the two characters as individuals, when you are using just the one body. I find it is hard enough with another actor to pull off a scene.

There were some technical glitches during the performance, such as the photos projected up on the screen seemed to be out of synch with the storyline. They seemed to be coming in too early, and there were some sound and lighting miscues, but this was a problem that plagued all the performances.

At the end of the first act, which is all Gin performed, you were left wanting to know what was going to happen next, which is great. You’ve done your job as an actor if you leave them wanting more. I look forward to seeing the whole enchilada.

The other two performances were a dance, multimedia, and spoken word piece called Excerpts from the Soul of a Woman by Vania C. Bynum, that “explores the struggles that women face, as well as the triumphs an beauty of being a woman.”

The first part interlaced an Iraq war documentary Female Faces of War played on a rearscreen at the back of the stage, with dancers dressed as soldiers, and also as Iraqis. I liked this part of the piece the best. It was the strongest emotionally. The film set the situation and established the tone, that was then expressed by the dancers. The dancers portrayed the abuse of women soldiers at the hands of their fellow male servicemen, a point brought up in the film, the death of Iraqi civilians and children, and the grief of family members over the loss of a soldier.

The second and third parts seemed very separate from this first part, actually they seemed completely different pieces. The situation was not helped by lighting and sound miscues, which confused the audience into thinking it was intermission, and people started to get up and leave during a transition, because the house lights came on.

In any case for me the second and third sections lacked the punch of the first. There was a spoken word piece that started section two that was cool, but after that it was standard modern dance. For me: yawn.

The second piece was hiz-stare-i-cal! CoochieMagik by Christa Bell. From the program:

“CoochieMagik brings a woman’s gospel to the altar of the stage. Fusing poetic text, stand up comedy with elements of Women’s Transformational Theater and Hip-Hop, Coochie Magik is an ecstatic performance ritual that empower a new context in which women experience their bodies and sexuality is holy…”

Which is a fancy way of sayin’, “Women, love your coochie and all that goes with it.” Christa Bell had the place rolling. Her ability to transform the spoken word into something beyond, speech and into the realm of the physical amazed me. The words became entities, almost physical objects, that were arranged in towering pinnacles and sultry valleys. What does that mean? Who knows, but it was cool to watch.

Christa Bell has won the National Poetry Slam and you can see why. If you have a chance to go see this when she performs it again, do it!

So, another night of good stuff. I look forward to more in the future from the performers.

May 14 – New Works.

I went this last Saturday and saw part of the NW New Works Festival at On the Boards. There were four performances the night I went. The one I specifically went to see was Pants by Annette Toutonghi, who is one of my acting teachers, and some other people I don’t I can’t name, because I don’t have the program here with me.

I ran into some people I know from acting school, which is fun. It makes me feel like I’m a cool hip person when I run into people at performances. See… I know people, I’m an actor, how cool am I? Much better than the feeling of going to a party and not knowing anyone there, and being a big dork, which is how I go through most of my life.

I always try and go see a teacher in action if I can. I saw Annette in The Women which played at ACT the end of last year. This was the second time I have seen her, but this time it is in a piece that she had written and directed collaboratively with some other artists.

I have to say I really liked it. Especially the opening image of Annette scooting off stage followed by a pair of disembodied pants. Delightfully creepy. It was a non-linear performance, with dance, video projection, music, and theatre blended together.

What was it about? Hard to say specifically, but I don’t think that was the point. The image/sense I was left with was about navigating the world and the anxieties that it brings up. If I was more intellectual I could analyze it, but I will just say that it was cool, and I liked it. I hope to see it again in some form, and perhaps a longer piece. I was left wanting more, which is the best thing you can give your audience, right?

The other performances were good as well. There were two other dance pieces. One was a lesbian feminist extravaganza called Eden Between the Lines, Chapter 1 by Shaneeka Harrell and Catherine Cabeen. The two dancers were good, sexy, the choreography was erotic and dynamic. I loved how they worked these long red ribbons in as symbolic ties-that-bind/red tape.

However the spoken word part did less for me, mostly because the message was being sung to the choir. Being gay and all, I’m all for loving whoever you want to love, equality, and gay marriage. But the message was one I’ve heard many times before, and I wanted a surprise, but that’s just me. My friend (also lesbian) who went with me, who has danced in the past and so understands these things much better than me, really liked it.

The other dance piece was OK too. This was a group piece called Junknation by the Northwest Dance Syndrome, a group of six or seven women. I like the group dancing part and I liked the music. They had these cool canisters that looked like scuba tanks hanging from wires that they swung around a bit. I wanted them to do more with that, but they didn’t.

The part I didn’t like as much was these sort of interludes, where one woman was in an “egg” like wire structure. The first time is was full of trash, and we watched as she threw the trash out of the egg. Another time a woman writhed inside the egg for a bit. These parts went on too long for my taste. Boring. I always feel like I am supposed to “get” these bits, but I don’t. Call me simple, but I like it when the dancers just leap around on stage to good music.

The fourth piece was a music and multimedia performance by Holcombe Waller called Into the Dark Unknown: The Hope Chest, which I thought was really cool. It’s apparently part of a larger piece, so if that comes around I am definitely going to check it out, and I suggest you do too.

Anyway, there is another weekend of new works performances coming up, so check it out. Also this weekend I am going to see another of my teachers, Gin Hammond, at the Creation Project another new works festival.

Go check one of these great things out.

April 21 – Pay What You Can

I went and saw the Highest Tide by James Lynch at Book-It Repertory Theater the other night.  I’ve been trying to hit the pay-what-you-can nights and the different theater’s in town.  I feel like I need to see more theater since I am trying to be an actor and all.

I feel a little insecure because I am not theater educated, the way a lot of people in my classes are.  They have either done theater since high-school, or went to college and got their BA in theater, or they’ve been doing community theater for years.

Me, I sort of just decided last year that I might like to try an acting class as a tool to get over being uncomfortable in front of people.  I didn’t realize that I would like it so much.  I wasn’t even sure I was going to be able to get through the first class.

People in class will start talking about plays and playwrights and others will nod knowingly.  I sit there and listen quietly, thinking to myself, I have no idea what they are talking about.   I should read/see more plays (and movies for that matter).

So I’ve looked up the pay-what-you-can nights at many of the theaters in town.  Intiman,  Seattle Rep, ACT, Book-It all have PWYC nights.  Most only let you buy tickets the day of the show at the box office, some are cash only.

Here is my partial list (I’m sure there are more that I haven’t found yet)

May 8 – Father & Sons – ACT
June 5 – Namaste Man – Intiman
June 15 – A marvelous Party (Noel Coward Celebration) – ACT 7pm
June 26 – A marvelous Party (Noel Coward Celebration) – ACT 2pm
July 10 – Streetcar Named Desire – Intiman
Aug 17 – Intimate Exchanges – ACT 7pm
Aug 21 – Little Dog Laughed – Intiman
Aug 28 – Intimate Exchanges – ACT 2pm
Sep 7 – Eurydice – ACT 7pm
Sep 18 – Eurydice – ACT 2pm
Oct 2 – All the King’s Men – Intiman
Oct 19 – Becky’s New Car – ACT 7pm
Oct 30 – Becky’s New Car – ACT 2pm
Dec 4 – Black Nativity – Intiman

Anyway, you can see some good theater on the cheap. Most places have a minimum of 5$.  I always pay try to pay more than that (10 – 20$ depending on that week’s cash flow), because I can, it’s the 40$ I have trouble with, especially if I am trying to go to a show a week.

I take my mom with me, who is on disability and a fixed income, and she always pays the 5$. The PWYC nights definitely draw the senior crowd.  I am always surprised I don’t see more young people.  I figure this would be perfect for high school and college students, but mostly it is the gray haired group I see.

So go see some theater, there is no excuse not to at these prices.

Jan 3 – Decisions, decisions.

Classes start next week, and I haven’t signed up yet. Normally I have the registration form filled out the moment it becomes available. Mostly my problem is monetary. How original, right?

The problem is there are four classes I want to take. Auditioning, Voice, Accent Study, and Stage Combat. This totals up to, well, let’s just say a lot of money. So I have to choose, what I am going to take, or I can rationalize away and put it all on the credit card.

I am personally leaning towards the latter. What is a credit card for, right? And I have a girlfriend, who theoretically is going to get some inheritance money soon (Yes, I know about counting chickens and all…), and her money is my money (and vice versa of course).

Adding to that, I have been trying not to use the credit cards because we are trying to pay off our debt (which we will be able to do when that inheritance check comes – whenever that is).

So I can be somewhat selfish and reckless, and charge up the credit card, or I can play it safe and sign up for only one class. I have to take Stage Combat because it is Part Two of a series, and I want to get my certification Society of American Fight Directors certification, assuming I pass the test.

But that class is only one day a week, and there is not much “acting” going on.  A bit, but mostly it is the technical aspects of learning how not to stab your partner or give them a black eye for real.

Then I really want to take Voice. Trust me, I need it. I’ve been wanting to take this class for a year, and they haven’t offered it, so I want to get in while I can, because who knows if they will offer it next quarter and how long I will have to wait.

I will admit that Accent Study is just for fun, but still important. More job opportunities if I can do a few different accents. Still, I could take it later. Then there is Auditioning. That just screams you need to take me. How can you get a job without auditioning? I have no audition pieces yet. I need some, and this is a perfect opportunity to get some and get them polished up under professional tutelage.

Too many choices, not enough dinero. Plus, the guilt factor of frittering away my girlfriends inheritance, and she’d let me, silly her. Really if it were just me, those credit cards would be flaming.

I will have to run this all by her tonight, because I need to sign up by tomorrow before any more classes fill up. I just checked the website and Auditioning is now closed because it’s full.

Well, that’s one choice off the table.

Jan 2 – New Year’s Resolutions

Well, the new year is here. I wasn’t going to do any New Year resolutions, because I never last more than two weeks, but as I was trying to figure out what to write for this post, I thought it would make a good topic. So I will list a few resolutions, or goals as I prefer to call them.

1. Write in this blog regularly.
2. Get my headshot.
3. Audition for something

That’s it, short and sweet. I won’t bother with the eating healthier and exercising goal, as I am perpetually working on that one, and so obvious who needs to mention it, right?

Anyway that’s the acting oriented goals/resolutions. To be completed by the end of the year (except for number 1.)

I thought I would throw in a picture or two from my clown class.

Above: Some angry clowns.

Below: Some not so angry clowns.

Dec 28 – Big Time, Small Screen.

The clown video I worked on for the Seattle Opera is now on YouTube. I have now used about five seconds of my fifteen minutes of fame. My part is very small. I am the second clown standing in line, wearing a bee vest and I have an orange hat.

It was interesting to see the video. When you are on a film shoot you end up seeing everything from your perspective, not the camera’s, which can be very different. Plus how sound carries is different. And then editing makes a huge difference, so what you have experienced looks nothing at all like the final product.

The kid in the video was quite the precocious child. He was good for about the first half hour then he got bored and wanted to do something else. It is hard to understand him a few times in the video and I know what he was saying. I was impressed by the fact that he memorized so many lines. But then there were times I was like wanted to go up to him and say, Kid, settle down and say your lines, and stop complaining that the salami you are beating the guy with smells like poo. Yes, in case you couldn’t tell, it’s a stick of salami.

Two of the guys from my clown class were also in there, the guy in the jester hat with the boxing gloves, and the tall guy standing next to him on the right. I didn’t get to talk or work with them once we started shooting, which was too bad.

Apparently this will be streaming on the Seattle Opera website soon, but for now I will have to settle for it being on YouTube, as I await my two tickets to see Pagliacci. It’s not cash, but hey, you got to start somewhere.

For my description of the day of the shoot, click here.

Dec 27 – Bye George!

While writing my blog my focus has been on myself (and rightly so I should think – it is my blog after all), but today’s blog is dedicated to my teachers, and specifically George Lewis. I’d like to publicly thank my teachers for their incredible dedication and patience in dealing with me.

During the year and a half I have been taking classes I have had four wonderful teachers. George Lewis, Annette Toutonghi, Amy Thone, and Geoff Alm.

The first class I took, Intro to Acting, was with George Lewis. Here is a bit I took of the Freehold page

“…George Lewis (Founding Partner, Associate Director) has been working in the field of movement theatre for over 30 years. His background includes extensive study in corporeal mime with Etienne Decroux in Paris, in the Biomechanics of Meyerhold with Russian master teacher Gennadi Bogdanov, and circus skills at the National Circus School in Paris. His work is deeply steeped in the tradition of ensemble theatre and original creation: he has worked with Mirage and Studebaker in Boston, Omnibus in Montreal, and the Sykes Group in Seattle. He has been teaching acting and movement across the U.S. and Canada since 1978, and currently teaches for the Dalcroye Society down at Cornish College for the Arts, and as core faculty at Freehold.”

George is a great teacher. George is intimidating (and not just to me). He pushes you gleefully, sarcastically, out of your comfort zone, and sometimes you hate him for it. I took the Intro to Acting, Movement, and Personal Clown classes with him, and especially in the case of Clown, because he was the teacher.

I almost didn’t sign up for clown because it sounded intimidating enough and the fact the George was teaching it made me even more scared. I actually had signed up for an improv class instead, but then I switched. I knew the fact that clown scared me so much, was probably an indication that I needed to take it. So I did.

It was a profound class, and I am grateful that I took it. Even more so now because George is leaving Freehold, at least for the while, and who knows when the opportunity to work with him will come up again. Here is an article about him leaving here.

Universally my teachers have been supportive and encouraging, which I know is their job, but they seem to really enjoy it (then again, they are actors…hmmm). Still, I am going to think it is genuine.

The other night I got to see them perform. Freehold was having a benefit and going away party for George. The teachers all did little scenes. It was great to see. I haven’t really seen any of them perform, with the exception of Annette Toutonghi, whom I just saw in The Women at ACT Theatre recently.

I enjoyed all the performances. They were good, which is what you would hope since they are supposed to know their stuff so they can teach it to me. Although I guess they only have to be better than me, which at this point wouldn’t take much.

After the benefit there was a going away party for George. It was very touching to see. He was sad about leaving and started to cry. Robin Lynn Smith the other founding member of Freehold there, started to also cry. Other people cried. It was very emotional. I got to say goodbye to George and got some last words of encouragement from. He said it was great working with me and that I should keep going. When you hear stuff like that from someone you respect, what can you do? I plan to keep going.

Dec 26 – Sunday at the Opera with Clowns.

I am finally getting around to posting again. Without having classes, I find my inspiration running a little short. Add to that the fact that I had the flu last week and I will throw that up as another reason for not writing. Although my fever induced rambling might have been more interesting.

I have done a little bit with acting. On December 16th I got to take my clown out in public. I had seen an audition notice looking for clown extras for a promotional video for the Seattle Opera’s production of Pagliacci. They were looking for people who were willing to dress crazy and preferred people with an already established clown character. How perfect.

I emailed the people in my clown class, and three of ended up doing it. We had to show up in costume at 8:00 am outside the Seattle Opera’s stage door. From there we were ushered into a holding area. I was the first clown to arrive, but soon others came. Two guys from class showed up, so we had fun chatting while we waited for the area we were shooting in to get enough light.

We were to shoot in the entry atrium of McCaw Hall which is apparently lit only by natural light. In Seattle the sun doesn’t come up until 8:00, and we ended up waiting until 9:00 to start shooting. This gave us only 2 hours to do this part of the shoot, because McCaw Hall was opening at 11:00 to let people in for the Nutcracker matinée brunch. Who knew they had a brunch?

The basic storyline for the video is a hick from the country gets the idea in his head that he is going to try out for the lead role in Pagliacci so he can become famous. He shows up at the Opera House thinking it won’t be a problem only to find a long line of clowns already there to audition. Discouraged by the fact that he has competition he uses some less than ethical means to try to get ahead, beating up one clown and stealing his accordion, cutting in line in front of a little kid (who later beats him up), etc…

My part was being one of the clowns in line to audition. I ended up being the second clown in line behind a mime. My job was to act like I was about to audition, alternately being nervous and psyching myself up. Two security guards dressed in all black would yell out “Next!”, inspiring panic in whoever was next. The guards were meant to be intimidating, looking like Secret Service agents, sunglasses, dragging us in, and then when our audition failed, throwing us out.

So I had to be nervous, psyche myself up, and then become very scared when my turn came up. The thing about doing film is of course you end up doing the same thing over and over and over again, so the camera people can get all the different angles they need for editing. The challenge of being an extra (and an actor who actually talks – I imagine) is keeping your energy up the 7th and 8th time.

I had already had a headache, but after the first hour it was pounding. The were some long stretches where I got to sit while they were shooting the back of the line. I’m not sure if it was good to sit because my head pounded less, but then I lost my energy, so it was a struggle to get motivated when I had to do my bit again.

11:00 rolled around and they opened the doors to the public. We finished in the nick of time. My payment for the gig is two free tickets to see Pagliacci. I have never been to the opera, so it will be interesting. And it was fun to get the clown out after two weeks off. It is funny, but the other two guys and me all said we missed clown class, which considering how we felt in the beginning, and most of during, is a testament to how profoundly altering that experience was.

I packed up the clown costume and put it away, with the costume from the play I did last summer. My drawer is getting full of costume bits and props. I am going to have to find a place to store all this stuff, because I am sure I will need it someday.

Dec 12 – End of the Fall?

I had my final Stage Combat class last night. Mostly review. We have started doing rapier with dagger – at the same time. Yes, now we have a pointy metal object in each hand to wave around and hit ourselves and/or the other person with. Mostly I hit myself.

It is very fun, but it feels rather like learning to drive a stick shift. You have the clutch to work, shifting, steering, and braking with that car. With rapier and dagger you have parrying, attacking, footwork, and choreography to keep track of.

For instance, your partner attacks you. You have to step back, parry, do some sort of binding away (getting their sword away from you using your sword), and then attack them while moving forward, and keeping whichever pointy object isn’t being used for attacking pointed at your opponent to cover your guard, all while cycling through the assigned configuration of targets.

It seems we just started getting things cooking and now we have a month break. School doesn’t start up again until January 12th. So what am I going to do with myself.

My plan is to work out a lot to get into shape. I have been eating my way through the Fall. When the daylight decreases here I start to go into hibernation mode. About mid-October I start wanting to eat every thing in sight, which I do. It took me a few years to realize there was a pattern to this, but about every fall I gain about 6 – 10 pounds in about 3 weeks. Then I spend the rest of the year getting that off only to start again in October.

Since I have been aware of this pattern the past few years, I have managed to keep the weight gain down to about six pounds instead of the top of the scale 13. I of course say every year that I am not going to let this happen. I even signed up for a weight lifting class and a boot camp class.

I was eating a lot, but I was working out a lot. Then I had to have surgery twice to remove some flesh (unfortunately not the 25 pounds worth). My subconscious mind took advantage of this and somehow I kept finding pints of Peanut Butter and Chocolate Haagen-Dazs in my shopping basket. And oddly enough I am up about 7 pounds.

Hmmm…coincidence?

Anyway, I get my stitches out tomorrow. Then my plan is to go running Saturday morning early with some people from the bootcamp class. Then Monday morning I am back to the weightlifting class in the morning, and back to Aikido in the evenings.

Oh yeah, I am going to start eating healthier too. I polished off the last of the Haagen-Dazs last night, and I promise that no more shall appear (at least until next October).

Dec 5 – Under the Knife

Since I don’t have much to talk about acting wise now that school is winding down, I guess I will have to talk a bit more about the other areas of my life. Yesterday I had a little minor surgery. I now have about twenty stitches in my lower abdomen(very low abdomen).

I had had a mole removed about a month ago. They cut it out and sent it to the lab. Well it came back “atypical”, which according to my doctors does not mean cancer. They stressed this to me over and over. “It’s not melanoma. Really.”

Anyway, as part of standard treatment when they get this sort of result back from the lab is to cut more off of you to make sure they get any little atypical cells that might be heading off to explore the wider world.

So yesterday I popped downstairs (I work in a hospital – how convenient) to get cut up. I make a point of letting the nurse know I work there. I do believe I get better service. Not that I wouldn’t get good service anyway, but I get a little extra friendliness, because they know they might see me around the cafeteria or in the elevator. And we’re family.

The nurse takes my vitals and takes me to the procedure room. It’s huge this time filled with all sorts of medical machines. In the center of the room is the bed under the big metal operating lights hanging from the ceiling like alien space daisies. It looked serious.

The first time they cut the mole off I was in a tiny exam room, which doubled as a supply room. As they were working on me people kept coming in asking, “Where’s the V-4 tube sutures.” or whatever (I made that up by the way in case you are a medical person saying to yourself, what in the world is a V-4 tube suture?)

So the contrast between the storage closet and this big tech filled room had me worried. Luckily when the doctor came in he waved a hand to the machines, and said don’t worry we won’t be using any of that. Whew!

The doctor came in with a stack of CD’s, one of which he put into a CD player. His son made him a mix CD to play during surgery, which I thought was a nice idea. Something to distract the very nervous person who has a phobia of needles and scalpels.

I was a micro bit more relaxed because I knew what to expect more or less. The doc numbed me up, and started cutting away. When he was done he plopped the little chunk of me into a liquid filled jar to send off to the lab. It was about the size of the last two joints of my pinky, and all pink and bloody. Yum.

Of course while the cutting is going on we are chatting about where I work in the hospital, and who I work for. Turns out the doc worked with one of our research groups, so he knew my people. A little light work chatter, a little soft music in the background. All I needed was a drink in my hand, voila! Cocktail party.

I got all stitched up, and got my bandage replacement materials from the nurse. I was feeling pretty good because everything was still numb, so I popped down to the cafeteria for some lunch with my friend Bucky. Something about surgery makes me hungry. Maybe my body had realized some of it is missing, so it wants to replace it as quickly as possible.

I went back to work for a while to finish up some payroll things I had to do. People in my office were like, don’t you want to go home? I said I am still numb and feel fine. I might as well take advantage of it. I did leave a half hour early to catch the bus home

All was good until about 9:30 last night when the last of the anesthetic wore off. Ouch! I stayed home today so I can lay out in my sweat pants moving as little as possible. I can’t take a shower until to tonight, and then I get to replace my bandage.

I am looking forward to seeing what my scar will look like. The doc said he would give me a nicer one than the last person. I am glad for that because the last scar was bumpy at the ends. I know a lot of people aren’t going to see it, but still I don’t want to be lumpy.

Dec 2 – Clown on.

First, it’s hard to believe that it is December already. Second, it is hard to believe clown class is over. This last Wednesday night was our last class. It was pretty much a normal class format. We did some warm-up exercises, and then we formed the Ring. But it wasn’t the Ring of Clown Shame, or the Ring of Burning Clowns, or the Ring of Clown Humiliation and Terror. This time it was just the Ring.

I guess we have improved. I wasn’t filled with dread, and neither was my partner. The ring assignment was a two person trick. Our trick was that my partner clown, Looster, was going to hold a cup in his mouth while sitting on one of those big exercise balls. Then I was going to bounce a ping pong ball off the floor and into the cup. Ta Da!

We hadn’t practiced our trick, because we have learned by now it doesn’t matter whether we succeed or fail; it is more about how we deal with the situation and each other.

So not only were we ready to go out there with a unrehearsed trick and see what would happen, we weren’t completely blown out of the water when George said to the air aloud as we started, that he sure hoped this wasn’t another ball trick, because he had seen enough of those. Not so subtle message: You better come up with something else. Now.

We had our moment of panic. Then I came up with an idea. I would get Looster to lay on the ball. He took some convincing but he lay down with his back on the ball. He still had the cup in his mouth from when we had started the other trick. I put a ping pong ball in the cup. Then I started to lift up his legs and my intent was sort of to wheelbarrow him around on the exercise ball. He didn’t want me to pick up his legs. He started to squirm, and almost lost the ball out of the cup. I was trying to hold him up and straighten the cup so the ball wouldn’t fall out.

It was physically hard for me. Looster is about 6 feet tall, so I am holding him up and the ball is making it hard for him to balance. I am trying to hold him still so the ball won’t fall out. Apparently it was funny to look at because I heard people laughing. He still had one hand on the floor to balance himself. I was trying to get him to pick it up so I could roll him around, but he didn’t want to. Eventually he did and we completed the trick.

We actually were successful. And at a trick we made up on the spot. And we stayed in our clown characters. And we were funny.

What do you know? I guess we learned something. We went from dreading class and feeling like horrible failures, to flinging ourselves off the cliff just to see what would happen. Giving up on the idea of failure always being a bad thing. Learning to pay attention to our partners, learning to follow the propositions offered, learning to follow the threads of the story. And maybe most important of all, learning to have fun doing it.

I think everyone should take clown class. It’s character building.